Creative angst has taken over. I have avoided sharing myself by blogging during the past month or so. I have not written a post. I’ve been stumped as to what to share and when to carve out the time to do it. People have pestered me, asking “what is up?”
What I have done is paint. I’ve been consumed by painting. It feels as if the work I produce is better than ever, and the ideas are tripping over each other as they try to take priority in my head. I cannot keep up with the rapid creative flow but am doing my very best to do just that. What a rush! I have several in process all the time now, on 4 different easels, and anywhere else I can keep them from harm’s way.
As I paint I think of how I am not blogging. Guilty feelings. Also as I paint my new love remains present in my thoughts.
Because my other new passion is spending time with my new love. This love relationship has overwhelmed me in many ways. So much so that I cannot figure out where to begin or how to proceed with the sharing. Falling in love at this late stage of life is unexpected but oh so very sweet and desired. It is personal, yes. I want to shout it out to the world, yes! We are officially engaged and plan to be married before the year is out. I simply want to be WITH him all the time. I continue mentally pinching myself to be sure I am not just dreaming – that this is really happening. Wow.
I am convinced that sharing all this will potentially offer encouragement and hope to those who may feel like giving up on looking for love in their mid to senior years. That was my original goal when I began blogging. So yes, I should blog about finding love.
Marci Rich recently posted about “the writing/creative process”.
Click HERE to read her post.
Her words and included quotes helped me work my way toward being at peace with how things are evolving in my mind. I recalled how much I’ve enjoyed reading other blogs about creating art as well as blogs concerned with living life as a person in the mid to senior years.
Blending it all together is what I need to do.
So I will nurture my obsession with painting along with finding love, and weave it all together. There is definitely a connection. According to those who’ve observed my progress as an artist, I am churning out much more work – and better quality work – since I fell in love. Great benefit, right? I am finally ready to share about it in written form.
Yep, I got this…
Solid plan of action ready to commence…
Then life slapped me up the head again, forcing me to refine and rethink.
Word: Norovirus
I live in the home of my son, daughter-in-law and 18 month old grandson.
Since Monday of this week the Norovirus has hit our house like a hurricane, or an earthquake, complete with flooding and chasms in the surface of the earth. Violent stuff. Evil even.
So far, neither I nor my grandson has been struck, but the virus has severely affected my son and daughter-in-law. They’ve been basically incapacitated – I exaggerate not a whim. Most humans have never heard such audible agony.
Good thing I live here and am available.
I put painting and being with my sweetheart on hold in order to tend to house, grandson and pets. I missed doing what I thought I really wanted to do, but then, I love my family – especially the little dude who wraps me around his finger.
Yesterday, after a day of steady interaction with my 18 month old grandson – after playing with him, cooking for and feeding him, doing what was necessary to keep him safe and happy – after he endured my reprimands, my kisses and hugs………a tired little boy was again ready for night time bed.
His dad was semi on the road to recovery after being down for 2+ solid days. He was up but dragging with the need for a good night’s sleep. Being helpful, he was in the kitchen preparing the night time bottle before retiring and little guy spotted what was happening. He hustled his way over to where I stood on the other side of the counter – stomp stomp stomp of sturdy little feet – held out his hand to grab one of my fingers, and pulled me over to the gate at the bottom of the stairway.
Bed is upstairs and he was ready for jammies and a bottle. Time for assistance from a big person who could open the way to getting up there. So cute. Melty grandma heart happened. Again.
His actions helped me remember what is really important to work into daily life. Family relationships are at the top of the list. Always. And so worth it. Of course I want to be with my fiance – of course I want to be painting – but most of all I want, need and cherish my bonds with family. Somehow, I know now it will all work out.
Those of you who balance all you want to do with what you need to do will surely understand. Right?
Next up, I will share upcoming nuptial plans, completed and upcoming paintings, and tidbits of family love.
All this beats dark chocolate and red wine. Well, at least a serious contender.
